Messages from N to Ronen

Hard to believe that 4-year-old N is older than her siblings D & J were when Ronen died.

It has been fascinating at best (heartbreaking at the worst moments) to listen to her grapple and figure out what it means that there was a baby in our family before her who died. That he's her brother but he's not in our house. That he's "older" but never actually "got older"; that he's "bigger" in the age order of our children but is still the "smallest member of our family."

Today N said to me, "I want to send Ronen a message. Can you help me write it?" Thanks to technology, I told her she could make a video message for her since she can't write it herself. Amazing to watch her grapple in realtime.

Transcript: "I love you Ronen. I miss you and I love you. When I was -- before I was born I had you, and I didn't carry you. But I still love you. And, also, I know you can't eat or grow. So, that's why I'm sending this message. I hope you enjoy it! And that's the end of my story. The end."

Hard to believe that

Transcript: I, um, -- Ronen, I know you can't play baseball. And you're digged in the dirt. But also, I really love you. And... Squishmallow wants to say something to you. "I am Squishmallow, and I love you Ronen. When you get big, and when you come, you can snuggle with me." ... And also, I have something to say about Squishmallow. Squishmallow, my friend who is right here, has a big surprise for you. When you come back, when you're finished bury, you can snuggle with me in my little bed. But when I turn on my star lights, you're gonna really love my room. It's so beautiful. I hope you love it, but I have something to say. I went to Sabba and Savta's house and I had so much fun. Even I had so much fun. And that's the end of my message.