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Shabbat Candles and Bereaved-Parent Math

Tradition in my family was that my mother always lit 5 candles for Shabbat, for the 5 people in our family. For bereaved parents, this math is more difficult...So I have a new tradition, that I light the number of candles per people in my household still, but I light a candle in the glass left over from Ronen’s shiva candle. I love that this gives me the opportunity to be in my mixed emotions with memories of my son before Shabbat, even though it's difficult. Sharing my reframing in case this would help anyone else. It'll be 9 months since we lit this candle on Thursday.

Added: In case you're wondering, I don't love the contrast of the orange beads/marbles with the blue writing, but dropping these beads in the Shiva candle glass was how I counted the first hundred days after he died. It's made a little better because it reminds me of one of my favorite photos of Ronen sleeping in an orange Mets onesie next to his orange hospital pacifier.

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