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"Happy Hanukkah to the Parents"

Sometimes I think that Ronen lives mostly in my memory, in Bob's, and not much in anyone else's.

I wonder whether my six-year-olds think about him, how much he is a part of them. They talk about the "Three Kids in Our Family" sometimes (meaning: the three who live in our home, D, J, and N).

And then I walk into my office after a few days away to find a note from... all my children:

A note in blue marker on white paper, in children's handwriting: "Happy Hanukkah to the Parents. From Judah, Ronen, Nami, Devorah)

I'm actually not sure which of the twins wrote this note.

It takes my breath away.

At least in someone's mind, he's still a part of our family. I am very clear on the fact that Ronen did not actually sign this letter (and neither did Nami)... but there is something special about any list of all four of my children. It's why I always wear a stack of rings with all of their names. I got the first three when Ronen was born and in the NICU, and somehow having the three rings on my finger made it feel like my three children were united in some way. I added the fourth when N was born two years later.

So, as it is still Chanukkah, wishing all of my children a Happy Chanukkah, too... and blessing them, and all of us, to be lights unto the world wherever we go. May our children always take our breath away.

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